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not understanding.
geh.
, Warning: don't continue if you're not in th mood for reading something depressing.
(at least, it's depressing for me. duh.)
i'm becoming pretty good at hiding my feelings.
for as long as i can remember,
i've been hiding them all inside.
i've always felt under-appriciated.
like nobody would care if i disappear.
hell, th world would be a better place.
i'm always second best.
and in th past, always compared to my brother.
sometimes i wonder if tht was why i always can't stand him.
he was th tidy-one, th smart-one, th caring-one back then.
i still remember when i have all my books and papers,
scattered on th floor.
and my brother's things were in his bag.
i remember when i was sitting daydreaming,
while my brother did his homework.
i hated it.
and to prove tht i can study, after so much criticism,
i wrote out a quiz for myself.
but did it work ? i dont remember.
and when we got here,
everything started to change.
i was th tidy-one and he was th messy-one.
but i was always lazy to study,
yet i still get acceptable marks.
there was no way i was going to stoop again to th level back then.
i was glad tht i was out of tht stage.
glad tht they wouldn't think i'm a slob or stupid.
but whenever i feel down,
all those bad memories came flying back in my head.
words like under-appreciated and unworthy kept ringing in my head,
and i find myself crying to sleep.
and th next day,
i'm in moodswing mania.
it doesn't help too when th next day is supposedly a school day.
it makes my mood worse.
and some ppl dont or wont even care if i get hurt.
no matter what a person says,
as long as it's an insult,
it'll hurt no matter what you say next.
even if you say tht it's a joke,
or tht it's 'no offence',
you can't take away th stab of th words.
speaking for myself isn't exactly a strong point of mine.
i'd like to keep everything inside and let them figure it out,
if they dont,
i guess i cant do anything abt it right ?
except bear th pain.
i'm being a party-pooper now, am i ?
maybe you were expecting something jolly in this blog,
and you find yourself reading this post.
i DID warn you.
back up there.
i guess i can't help it, now and then this blog would be filled with stuff like these.
it's my blog after all.
personal or not,
it's something to relieve me from stress.
oh well ..
as long as it's an insult,
it'll hurt no matter what else you say.
or how you say it. (playfully.)
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not understanding.
geh.
, Warning: don't continue if you're not in th mood for reading something depressing.
(at least, it's depressing for me. duh.)
i'm becoming pretty good at hiding my feelings.
for as long as i can remember,
i've been hiding them all inside.
i've always felt under-appriciated.
like nobody would care if i disappear.
hell, th world would be a better place.
i'm always second best.
and in th past, always compared to my brother.
sometimes i wonder if tht was why i always can't stand him.
he was th tidy-one, th smart-one, th caring-one back then.
i still remember when i have all my books and papers,
scattered on th floor.
and my brother's things were in his bag.
i remember when i was sitting daydreaming,
while my brother did his homework.
i hated it.
and to prove tht i can study, after so much criticism,
i wrote out a quiz for myself.
but did it work ? i dont remember.
and when we got here,
everything started to change.
i was th tidy-one and he was th messy-one.
but i was always lazy to study,
yet i still get acceptable marks.
there was no way i was going to stoop again to th level back then.
i was glad tht i was out of tht stage.
glad tht they wouldn't think i'm a slob or stupid.
but whenever i feel down,
all those bad memories came flying back in my head.
words like under-appreciated and unworthy kept ringing in my head,
and i find myself crying to sleep.
and th next day,
i'm in moodswing mania.
it doesn't help too when th next day is supposedly a school day.
it makes my mood worse.
and some ppl dont or wont even care if i get hurt.
no matter what a person says,
as long as it's an insult,
it'll hurt no matter what you say next.
even if you say tht it's a joke,
or tht it's 'no offence',
you can't take away th stab of th words.
speaking for myself isn't exactly a strong point of mine.
i'd like to keep everything inside and let them figure it out,
if they dont,
i guess i cant do anything abt it right ?
except bear th pain.
i'm being a party-pooper now, am i ?
maybe you were expecting something jolly in this blog,
and you find yourself reading this post.
i DID warn you.
back up there.
i guess i can't help it, now and then this blog would be filled with stuff like these.
it's my blog after all.
personal or not,
it's something to relieve me from stress.
oh well ..
as long as it's an insult,
it'll hurt no matter what else you say.
or how you say it. (playfully.)
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geh.
PPGZ.
ZzZzZzZ ..
ley's wing it. :D
childhood memories. (:
geh. freezing. :S
my bed ! ♥
class bbq. :p
misses and hugs. :D
cure my addiction. -,-
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Colours: refuted
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