hello, colours

welcome

hi, this is my blog and i'm ___. it's been around since --/--/-- and this is layout #_. this is a welcome message, fyi.

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yaymonday

i'm sorry.

i'm so useless.

i'm sorry.
i didn't realize it.
i didnt mean to become something i hated.
i'll admit, i'm distancing myself.
but it's only for a selfish reason.
i didn't want to get hurt anymore.
i didn't want to start crying again this year.
but it seems, today, i realized tht i made myself cry.
it's prob confusing, i dont get it too.
i just know tht maybe i went too far.
honestly, i enjoy being alone sometimes, it helps me think.
but being alone can be lonely too.
i missed acting childish.
i'm not able to do something so carefree in school, for long, anymore.
i'm sorry, but i just always feel so left out.
just like in my clique in primary school.
i'm just sorry, okay ?
i didn't mean to act like those stuff you said.
if you guys just let me ..

deja vu much.
it's just like when i'd had enough of th teasings 'FruitTree' did.
i was th one who hurt, th one who cried and also th one, who in th end, apologized.
and in both times, i always end up feeling like everything is my fault here.
i feel like something's wrong.
but anyway, i dont mind, really.
i just want everything back to normal.
but i also know tht being selfish sometimes, is okay.
to think of my own feelings first before others.
too bad, tht always doesn't work out with me.

gotta find someone to talk it out with.
i'm desperate, so help me.
i'll take anybody older than me.